


Advance Directive

by kisahawklin



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: sga_episodefic, Episode Related, Episode: s05e06 The Shrine, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-08
Updated: 2008-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-24 10:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally I was going to write an AU where Rodney actually said goodbye and then died in the cave, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. Besides, my girlfriend would have knifed me in my sleep.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Advance Directive

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I was going to write an AU where Rodney actually said goodbye and then died in the cave, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. Besides, my girlfriend would have knifed me in my sleep.

"Jennifer," Rodney said quietly, pulling her away from his sister and the life signs detector they had their heads bent over. "I need to talk to you."

"I’m helping Jeannie," Keller protested, but let him pull her along anyway.

"I know, and I appreciate you… this…" Rodney waved his hands to cover up the lack of words. He took a deep breath, knowing he needed to be certain he and Jennifer were on the same page. "I know you have my advance health care directive, and I wanted –"

"Nothing is going to happen, Rodney," Jennifer started, but he put his hand up to stop her. Had Sheppard infected everyone with his ‘I’m not going to say good-bye’ speech?

"I know you’re going to do your best," Rodney said, hoping the compliment would keep her from interrupting again, "but you know as well as I do that these are far from ideal conditions. And you know what’s in my living will, and I expect you to carry it out, if… if… if circumstances require it."

Jennifer’s eyes went huge, and Rodney wanted to reach out and touch her, but he needed to be firm on this point. "There are things worse than death, Jennifer."

She shook her head quietly, and the tears she forever held in check shone in her eyes. _Damn it._

"Jennifer." She looked at him pleadingly, and he knew he was going to have to go to the colonel on this, that he could count on Sheppard to make the tough decision for her, for himself. "Yeah, all right," he said, as lightly as he could manage with so much on his mind. "I’m sure it will all go swimmingly."

That bit of optimism shook her out of her denial – apparently she knew Rodney better than he thought. She narrowed her eyes at him, and Rodney thought she might suck it up and agree after all. But she only regarded him coolly for a moment before her shoulders sagged in relief and she whispered, "Thank you," and turned around to join Jeannie again.

Rodney didn’t feel like calling discussing this with his team, so he stared at John’s back until Teyla motioned for him to turn around. He glanced over his shoulder at Rodney, and as soon as he saw Rodney’s face, he was on his feet and striding over purposefully. Ever the team leader, always in control. A mean, low part of Rodney thought that he might be able to wipe that optimism off Sheppard’s face, but that was a pretty crappy upside to dying or becoming incapacitated.

"Rodney," Sheppard said, in the way you might greet a neighbor in passing.

"John," Rodney answered, and Sheppard’s eyes widened in surprise before narrowing in suspicion. "I have a favor to ask." Rodney put up a hand to stop Sheppard from going off on his ‘everything’s going to be fine’ speech. "I know you understand that there are things worse than death." Of course Sheppard knew. Physical incapacitation _had_ to be the stuff of nightmares for him. He could understand what mental incapacitation would do to Rodney. Sheppard nodded, slowly, like he wasn’t quite sure what he was agreeing with.

"I have a living will."

"No, Rodney. We’re not –"

"You only get one of those per crisis, John," Rodney said, and put a hand on Sheppard’s arm, the touch enough to quiet his protest. "I remember you telling me no good-byes, and I… well, I didn’t understand, but I let you. I let you pretend. Not this time. This is too important." Sheppard lowered his eyes to Rodney’s hand, and he let go.

"My advance directives are extremely specific, John." Rodney was using his first name on purpose now, but Sheppard seemed to understand and didn’t call Rodney on it. "If I am mentally incapacitated in any way, so as to cause myself to be a burden to others, I need to be put down."

"Put down?" Sheppard said, grabbing Rodney’s arm around his bicep, tightly – too tightly. "You’re not a damn dog, Rodney."

"If anything happens to my brain, I might as well be. Who’s going to take care of me, hm? You? The only reason Woolsey let you all off the hook to take care of me like that was because I was _dying_. Limited use of resources. If this had gone on for months, you would have been back out in the field without me after a week. Two, if he was feeling respectful."

"Jeannie…" Sheppard said, glancing over to where she had the life signs detector in pieces strewn around the cave floor.

"Jeannie already has a small child to take care of. She doesn’t need another. I know what I’m talking about, John. If anything goes wrong, if some part of my brain is destroyed, you have to do this for me. Promise."

"Rodney," John said.

"Teyla and Ronon would both do it – you know they would. But Ronon would do it with his usual flair and possibly get kicked out of Atlantis for it. And Teyla? Well," Rodney had thought about it. The instructions he had left to create an ‘accidental’ death were a little technical, but Teyla probably could do it. "I’ll ask her if you chicken out."

Sheppard looked gobsmacked. "If you think Teyla will do it without any hesitation, why didn’t you ask her first?"

"Because you’re my power of attorney, damn it." Sheppard’s mouth dropped open even further. Rodney probably should have mentioned that before this sort of situation had come up, but Sheppard never wanted to talk about it. "I know you can make the hard decisions, John."

Sheppard’s mouth closed, and it looked so _strange_ , tight and uncomfortable, clearly holding in whatever it is he had to say.

"Sheppard, I’m giving you permission! What else do you want from me?"

For a second, Rodney thought Sheppard might put voice to the words Rodney had tried to get him to say on the pier. Then the curtain closed behind his eyes, and John was gone. Lt. Col. Sheppard stepped in to be team leader again. "Fine," Sheppard agreed, dropping his hand from Rodney’s arm like he just realized he had put it there. He did a rigid about face and walked away from Rodney with the same purposeful stride that had brought him over.

"Thank you," Rodney said, softly, to his retreating back. "John."


End file.
